As I watered my plants this afternoon I wondered... Did something inside my mother always know that she would end her days in silence, slightly apart from the world, but stuck in it all the same?
I wonder if that's why she went along all those years living her life how she wanted, surrounded only by the people and animals she loved; then, teaching her children and grandchildren to do the same. She just loved people. She laughed loud. She tried hard to teach, and she tried hard to learn about what she loved.
She believed, every day of her life that God would care for her just the same as he does the birds. She told me that quite often. I can hear her words while we lay in the cool leaves and grass behind our first house in Arkansas, gazing up at a V of geese while my sisters jumped in leaf piles beside us. I can hear her as we sat on the back deck of her farmhouse while her grandkids tried to chase swarms of blackbirds from the field. I can even think way back to my grandfather saying the words at his lakehouse while we painted the iron porch railings together on a warm summer day.
Then, I never understood.
Thank goodness in quiet moments of simple living every day I have come to understand her point of view just a little more. I pray I'm not the only one with those memories rattling around in their little head, but if I am, I am.
Thank God I am.
#endalz #formymother #formychildren #dowhatyoulove #alzheimersawareness